Great Moments in Internet History

Remember the adorable redhead from Problem Child?

Remember the ridiculously cute kid from Kindergarten Cop?

Remember the kid that played Alfalfa in the Little Rascals remake?

Remember that ugly blonde chick from the band Twisted Sister?

What does any of this have to do with anything?

One word:  Solitaire

Every child star and product of the 80’s is being rounded up to star in Solitaire; an extremely low budget movie that has high hopes of rekindling our love for our favorite child stars.

I have to admit, I’m very intrigued and somewhat excited about this movie’s release.  Do you know how hard it is to find a recent picture of Michael Oliver at the age of 25?  It’s a difficult task…I know.  I lost sleep over it, INDEED.

Maybe these stars have a chance?  I sure hope so… they deserve a chance to be more than a one hit wonder.

A growing collection of links that make counter arguments against Scientology. In a free society we are allowed to criticize other people and organizations. I am posting this in response to the horrible DMCA abuse made against codebot.org.

read more | digg story

I just took a huge dump and deep fat fried it. It was so big I needed one of those turkey fryers. Bad news, my poop blew up, due to the high water content hitting the oil upon cooking. Now I have a huge mess and NO pictures to put on Google. Sorry, Burton. Mama tried. Holy geez, it looks like a band of poo throwing monkeys stormed my kitchen. There goes my deposit.

As great as Google is at finding things, there is not a single image of a deep fried turd to be found in Google Image Search. In 2006, with all the technology available, one would think that not only would a turd have been deep fried by now, but that someone would have taken the time to post a picture of it online. Sad.

read more | digg story

 I stumbled across something completely weird on the fabulous internet (thank you, Al Gore for inventing the internet). 

It’s a Christian comic book about this girl named Hansi who becomes a Nazi, betrays Jesus, gets captured by Russians, escapes from her captors, and then becomes a Christian again. 

 The content it just odd.  I took a few snapshots from my favorite parts of the story, but you can view the comic book in its full text here: http://www.carpsplace.com/spire/Hansi.pdf.

Well, imagine my good fortune when I found out Slurpie wanted to be my friend on MySpace. That’s right, I’m not putting quotes aroung her name because I am 93% certain Slurpie is her actual birth name. Really, how could it not be when her About Me section contains a photo of her with a mouthful of jizz. Now keep in mind, MySpace wouldn’t let my friend Meghan post a picture of Jesus with laser beams coming out of his eyes, but a girl with a load in her face seems to be fine with Tom. Her interests include sex, boys, gymnastics, and modeling. Actually, that’s it, there are no other interests unless you count The Koran, of course, makes sense. I know some people would label her a MySpace whore, but she’s actually just a normal, 100% real, cum guzzling slut. Oh, and this is possibly the best photo ever. None of this is safe for work of course, and probably not even safe for Slurpie.

Have you heard about these guys?  I hear they have a big following.  I think the music is pretty decent - impressive, even (not what I’d listen to on my own time, but that doesn’t mean they suck).

But can you really take a bunch of guys seriously when they get up and start cock-rocking all over the stage with cellos and shit?  I mean, obviously if you’re from Sweden or Finland or Turkey or somewhere like that, you can.  But I’m from Burma, and I think it’s ridiculous.  In a kickass kind of ridiculous way.

 Anyway, check it out (hopefully this works):

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7826880143695993118&q=apocalyptica&pl=true

Darkshapes (Jay Parkinson) may end up becoming one of the first fine art photographers to break out almost entirely thanks to Flickr. Since January he has been posting a set called ‘Aspiring’. Nearly every photo from the set has ended up in Flickr’s daily top 500, and each picture is a stunning piece of art.

read more | digg story

So, forgive me, but I have to make a plea. Do not buy a Blu-Ray player. Do not buy a HD-DVD player. Don’t buy a drive for your computer. Don’t buy the discs. Believe me, I love movies, and I really want to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy in hi-def, but the price we will all pay for this is far too steep.

If you’re like me, you probably aren’t rich. You probably work hard and value your free time, and you probably invest a lot of money in that free time. I happen to have an HDTV. It’s nothing fancy, but it does happen to have an HDMI input. That makes me one of the lucky ones. Countless other hard working Americans that own analog HDTV sets are going to find that their new Blu-Ray or HD-DVD player will not play movies in hi def. Not even close! Is this fair? If we condone this by buying Blu-Ray and HD-DVD players then we will make it fair.

Think about this, in the last 20 years or so we’ve watched countless good American jobs get obliterated. You’re working harder for less money and have less free time. On top of all that, you’ve now got Sony and Toshiba telling you to get a new TV if you want to properly enjoy movies you’ve probably paid for twice now, first on VHS, then on standard DVD. Keep in mind, this is the same Sony that ruined your computer with rootkits. This is endorsed by the same MPAA that wants to break ALL analog televisions.

Copyright now lasts for the life of the author plus 70 years, and who knows, even that will probably get changed soon. A movie like “The Incredibles” won’t enter the public domain for over 100 years. That’s 100 years that Disney can make you buy the movie over and over again, and all the while your dollar is paying their lobbyists. If they want copyright to be 150 years it’ll be your money that pays for it. It’s time to push back and let these companies know that we want fair use and we don’t want to throw out our TV sets so that they can make more money and control all the content. It’s time to toughen up and quit taking the bait.

read more | digg story

Seems someone’s been up to no good. Listen up everybody, I do not want to have to fucking say this again:

• Lock any equipment that you don’t want stolen inside your boat or in the case of an outboard motor lock it up with a cable or chain.
• Anytime that you are passing the marina after dark take a ride through it slowly to see if you see any suspicious activity. This is no different than a neighborhood crime watch. I drive through there every weeknight at about 12:30 AM when I get out of work. A clue, if there are no cars in the parking lot and you see people on a boat or movement on a boat. If you see something suspicious call the Sheriff, don’t attempt to stop a crime yourself.
• Consider installing an alarm on your boat, which I myself am going to do asap. Dale said he bought one for his boat for $15 at Lowes.
• Make sure that you report breakins to the authorities even if you can’t recover the money so they will be more vigilant when they are in the area.
• Let’s hope that we don’t have to put up a huge fence to keep out the crooks, because it would ruin the ambiance of the marina itself.